Recently, introduced by one of my best friends, I paid a visit to a devout Buddhist in a temple, Beijing.
The monk ,or to be more exact ,a medicine man, as it turned out, was a small, merry-eyed, russet-colored old guy with almost toothless mouth, whose resemblance in every way to the Star Wars character Yoda cannot be exaggerated. His name was Yuanji(圆寂法师). He has a very strong Henan accent(河南口音).
My friend had told me in advance that I could bring one question or problem to the medicine man, and he would try to help me with my troubles. I’d been thinking for days of what to ask him. My initial ideas were so lame. Will you make my boyfriend stay with me forever? Will you help me to find a good job after graduation? I was rightly ashamed of myself for these thoughts: who travels all the way around to meet an ancient medicine man, only to ask him to intercede in body trouble? So when the old man asked me in person what I really wanted, I found other, truer words.
"I want to have a lasting experience of God," I told him.“Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity of this world ,but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don’t want to be a monk, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God.”
圆寂大师 said he could answer my question with a picture. He showed me a sketch he'd drawn once during meditation. It was an androgynous human figure, standing up, hands clasped in prayer. But this figure had four legs, and no head. Where the head should have been, there was only a wild foliage of ferns and flowers. There was a small, smiling face drawn over the heart.
“To find the balance you want,”圆寂 spoke,“this is what you must become.You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it’s like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God.”
Then he asked if he could read my palm. I gave him my left hand and he proceeded to put me together like a three-piece puzzle.“You’re a world traveler,”he began. Which I thought was maybe a little obvious, given that I was in a temple at the moment, but I didn’t force the point . . .
“You have more good luck than anyone I’ve ever met. You will live a long time, have many friends, many experiences. You will see the whole world. You only have one problem in your life .You worry too much. Always you get too emotional, too nervous. If I promise you that you will never have any reason in your life to ever worry about anything, will you believe me?”
Nervously I nodded, not believing him.
“For work, you do something creative, maybe like an artist, you have a gift for languages ,and you get paid good money for it. Always you will get paid good money for this thing you do. You are generous with money, maybe too generous.”
“You will have only one marriage in your life. And you will have two children . . .”
I waited for him to say,“one boy, one girl,”but he was suddenly silent, frowning at my palm.
Then he said,“Strange . . . ”which is something you never want to hear from either your palm-reader or your dentist. He asked me to move directly under the hanging lightbulb so he could take a better look.
“I am wrong,”he announced.“You will only have only one child. Late in life, a daughter, Maybe. If you decide . . . but there is something else.”He frowned……
最近在练习用英文写作，所以全是用英文写的了。文章翻译过来大概如下。
最近，经一个好朋友介绍，我去北京一座寺庙拜见了一位佛教高僧，或者更确切地说，一位懂法术的高僧。大师年事已高，法名圆寂，大师牙齿基本上掉光了，操着一口很重的河南腔。去之前，朋友告诉我，可以准备一个问题，大师会帮我们解答。刚开始，我想问大师，他能否让我爱的人永远不离开我？能否在毕业后帮我找到一份好工作？但想着自己这么大老远跑去，竟然问大师如此世俗的问题，暗自汗颜，就作罢了。当大师单独问我的时候，我问了一个一直以来真正困惑我的问题。
“我想对神灵对上帝保有永恒的信任和体验。很多时候，我的确能感受到世界的神性，但有时，由于自身琐碎的欲望和卑微的恐惧，我又会失去对神性的感受。我想永远和上帝在一起，但却又不想成为绝对的教徒。请您告诉我，我如何能够不放弃世俗乐趣的享受，同时还能够向神奉献我自己。”
大师用他冥想时画过的一幅画回答了我的问题。画上站着一个人，雌雄同体，双手合十，正在祈祷。但那人有四条腿，却没有头，在头的位置画着一些野生蕨类植物的茎，上面开着花，在心脏下方画着一张笑脸。圆寂师傅解释：“如果你想获得平衡，这需要成为这样的人。必须有四条腿，而不是两条，这样的话，你才能脚稳稳踩在地上，坚定地生活在尘世间；但同时你必须停止用大脑去看世界，而是用你的心去看世界去感受世界，那样的话，你就能够同时感知神灵了。”
他拿起我的手，帮我看了手相。“你是一个喜欢自由，喜欢旅行的人，”他说。这一点我很同意。“你比我遇到的很多人都幸运，你的寿命很长，你经历十分丰富，你有很多朋友，你将看到整个世界。但你有一个致命的弱点，你忧思过重，感情太细腻，太情绪化，你神经绷太紧。我要告诉你，你的一生没有什么真正需要你去担心，要相信我，好吗?”
“至于工作的话，你会做一些创造性的工作，比如艺术家，你有很强的语言天赋，你将因为这一点得到很好的报酬。通常你会因为你做的工作获得很好的薪水。在钱上，你很大方，有时候太大方了。”大师继续说。
“你只有一次婚姻，会有两个孩子......”我等着他说“一个男孩，一个女孩”,但大师突然停了下来，“奇怪得很…….”他咕哝着，并把我的手移到电灯下，仔细看了看。“我弄错了，你将只会有一个孩子，或许是个女孩，这个孩子来得会比较晚。如果你决定…….也许会有不同的情况……”大师皱起了眉头。
对于大师的欲言又止，我没有追问下去，我知道学佛之人不打诳语，如果他想说，自然会告诉我。命运是什么，命运是否先于我们而存在，古希腊时代就已经成为哲人探讨的话题，但都没有定论，在此暂不想深入讨论。大师所说是否就是我的命运，我也无从知晓。不过他所说之言，有些部分倒是和我实际情况很像。所以，且听且观之。
马上就到春节了，祝大家愉快。参禅一直是我很想做的事，接下来的5个月，我想好好冥想一段时间，隔绝外界一切干扰，学习和自己好好相处。愿佛赐我以内心的安宁 。
愿爱与光与你们同在。双手合十，为所有人祈祷，千千万万遍！
